I couldn’t open my windows anymore. Those Texas afternoons had been ran off by the bitter tastes of winter. The cold weather bite at my skin forcing me to stay shut up away from the World.
We had not spoken in a month. Are you surprised? I wasn’t.
Every time I saw him in the hall or at track practice I went right for him with my eyes, but he never met them. I missed him so much. I missed talking to him, joking around with him, just being near him in general.
In the past month without him I slowly began to recognize that I need Trent in my life. I was still so very confused about how I felt about him, but I knew I had not been the same since he stopped talking to me. From time to time I thought about saying something, but I never did. I should have. Maybe he was just waiting on me to do it first.
I was at our track practice and feeling pretty confident in my pair of very short shorts as I finished my stretches. I joined track my sophomore year of school as a way of keeping in shape. Plus I saw it as a way to combat my asthma; this was a way to give my lungs a work out. Being that I was a senior it was my third year and I was, along with Trent, one of the only senior boys running that year. We were more or less made co-captains by our coach. Seniors are usually considered captains by default either way.
My shorts were orange and I looked ridiculous in them, but I was wearing a jock strap under them and that set up usually made me feel pretty good about my body. I would usually worry about getting an erection when I first joined from looking at all those guys in their shorts, but I was wearing so little and it was usually cold enough that this is never a problem. If that wasn’t enough I just looked up and focused on my breathing as I ran and I was able to control myself. However from time to time I did have some trouble when running near Trent.
I’m forced to stare at him run. He was a fantastic runner. His legs were amazing. His lower legs were very dark which journeyed up to what were his very white, yet chiseled thighs. White as a jar of cool whip, but I still found them very sexy. They had the perfect amount of hair on them, just enough to run your hands through as you moved them up his leg. Trent was much faster than I am in a fair race.
It hurt me to watch him run lately, honestly. I couldn’t stop picturing myself with him and I could feel my dick rub up against my cup and it made me knot up with pain. I had to forget about him for now. I had to focus on my running. As I turned around to begin I noticed him pass me to take his start.
“Hey…” I said, before I even realized I had said it.
He took a quick glance back at me and then forced his eyes to the ground as quick as he could. Almost as if he was embarrassed that he had heard me. He began running. He started off and I follow quickly behind. I decided enough was enough. Trent was one of my best friends and I was tired of not talking to him.
“Trent.”
He didn’t stop. He doesn’t even acknowledge me. He quickens his pace as I tried to stop him and get his attention.
“Trent….listen,” I said as I gasped for oxygen and tried desperately to keep up with him.
“Trent I can’t keep up with you...”
I didn’t stop as he tried to break away from me. I managed to stay right behind him.
I was not going to be ignored any longer. I thought it was bullshit and I was sick and tired of him doing that to me.
I knew exactly how to get his attention.
I dug deep into myself and kicked my legs into a gear I rarely took them to. I only put this much into my run during the final seconds of a close race when it was needed the most, but I could tell I needed it here. I closed the gap and pounced on him from behind. We both hit the track fairly hard, everyone at the practice turned to see what had happened. I tried my best not to hurt him, but I was flaming mad and his well-being, as mine, was of no concern to me at the time.
“Damn it, Damon!”
“I’m sick of this shit, Trent. Why and the hell have you been ignoring me?”
We both stood up. He looked at me in frustration and then he observed his elbow which he had fallen on when I tackled him on the newly created track which didn’t seem to mind scraping us up a bite.
“You know why.”
“Well yeah I guess I do, but you said I was your friend and that you would never tell anyone.”
“Well I haven’t have I, Damon?”
“No…but you didn’t say that you wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I didn’t know that was
a part of it.”
“Well…I’m sorry. It’s just weird knowing your best friend wants to get in your pants.”
He was staring firmly at the ground by now. It seemed like he would have rather been anywhere besides talking to me.
“It’s not like that Trent. I…- I mean I… - I didn’t want you to know. Things just got messed up. I would change it if I could,” I lied.
“…its fine,” He said back as he looked at anything and everything, but me.
“Well I’m just tired of you ignoring me.”
I looked down at his elbow and saw it begin to bleed. I licked my thumb and put my hand around his arm and began to rub the blood and dirt off his elbow. He moved a little closer as I did, but he didn’t seem comfortable with this and pulled away before
I finished when he noticed people where still looking at us after I had jumped him.
“I have to go anyways. Tell coach I got sick,” He said as an obvious excuse to get away from the situation.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” I said as he walked off.
I didn’t get a reply.
A few weeks pass and I found some success. Every once and awhile I caught his eyes in the hall way.
He really knew how to dress. He still had nothing on me, but he got by better than all of his ‘jock’ friends.
He was standing there holding his binder near Mrs. Cobain’s classroom. He was wearing these running shorts that really fit nicely. You could make out the curve in his butt and when he walked you could see them move with his legs and every once and a while it would give him this little wedge and you could see his crack through his shorts at the top of his butt. I loves that more than anything, it always mde me want to leave school and go home and beat off until I had nothing left.
His shirt was a v-neck on that day and it was a soft red that made him look very buff. I mean he was buff, but he had very lean arms actually, but the shirt made his arm muscles look very pronounced that day. His hair was its usual uncombed mess without his old baseball cap, but it did nothing to his appearance as he looked absolutely angelic with his blond locks flowing around his eyes; those deep blue thoughtful eyes.
He turned to head in to class and I looked at him and smiled. He looked back. He didn’t smile, but his eyes became narrower as he slightly cocked his head to the side.
Not out of anger, but it was almost as if he knew that simple acknowledgement meant more to me than any specific reaction. His face became softer and more peaceful looking when he saw me.
That was the last time I saw him that day. The next day I came to school and everyone was gathered at the front of the room and I heard Trent’s name amongst the gossip.
“What’s going on, where is Mr. Harrison?” I said with annoyance in my voice. I really couldn’t stand the kids in my English class and it didn’t help that I was a bitch in the morning to pretty much anyone who got in my way.
Jasmine White, the miss know-it-all that she was, came up to me as I sat my backpack down and said something to me that I would never forget. It became one of those moments that are still frozen in time in my mind. I could tell you and describe everything and everyone that was there at that moment. Everything seemed to come to a halt when she said…
“Trent’s mom was in a really bad car accident this morning. Trent just left like 15 minutes ago. He looked pretty torn up. The principal and the councilor like ran down here to get him. It was pretty scary.”
"What!?"
I was shocked. I had just seen her the other day before she and my mom left to go shopping. I loved his mom like she was apart of my family.
She was one of the nicest women I’d ever met. She was like my mother in a lot of ways. She had been a mother to me all throughout my childhood. Like when I cut myself playing outside with Trent, she had fixed me meals when I stayed over, and she was just a terrific person with so much love. Trent loved her so much and I’m sure he was very tore up.
I couldn’t sit there. So I found out where they took her, it turned out Jasmine was a know-it-all, as she had over heard my prinicpal say where they took her. I left despite Mr. Harrison telling me I was not allowed and I would be counted absent for the day if I took off. Mr. Harrison was trying his best to down play the seriousness of this by telling us all to grab our text books.
"Damon Zephyr Lewis, sit down." he said as I tried to make my way for the door.
He was one of the few people brave enough to say my middle name. I have no idea what my parents were thinking by giving me the middle name of Zephyr. I mean they had to have been high.
"Sorry, sir. This is way more important than re-learning how to conjugate vows. I have to go." I said as I dashed throw the classroom door in a hurry.
I drove to the hospital and lied to some nurses to find out where she was. I told them I was her son. I didn’t consider it a complete and total lie, actually.
I got to the waiting room on the floor she was taken and I saw Trent sitting in a chair. His face was hid in his palms in an attempt to escape the thoughts that I'm sure must have filled him to the brim. He was hunched over and I could hear him crying and I could see his body twitching and shaking in despair. I said nothing even when I took a seat next to him.
I put my hand on his back and he looked up. He stared at me for just a split moment and then looked at the ground for another as the tears poured out of him. You could literally see his feelings as every ounce of pride he had melted away on his pained looking face. He continued to sob even louder.
What happened next I would have never predicted.
Without a beat he threw his arms around me and continued to express the hurt and fear he had.
“I love her so much, Damon. She has to make it. I can’t live without her. Why does this have to happen?” He said through his red, tear drenched face.
“I don’t know. It’s going to be okay, Trent. She’s strong.”
I began to cry as he buried his face into my shoulder. I could feel every twitch and shake in his body as I rested my hands on his back. To this day, this was the most vulnerable state in which I had ever seen a person. He was wrecked.
“I’m here for you Trent. I’m right here,” I said back to him as I leaned my head against his as we sat there in utter uncertainty, alone.
I had never experienced something like that before. It was my first true glimpse at what heart-break could do to a person. The fear and pain that I saw Trent go through that day haunted me for a very long time after this…
No comments:
Post a Comment