Volume Six.

I woke up the way I often seemed to, by the sun. I felt my back tense up as I began to move around on the floor. The first thing that popped in my mind…

“Trent?”

I no longer felt his head resting on me. I didn’t feel his arm draped over me anymore.
He was gone.

I rose up from the floor. My body felt like it had been still for ages. I made my way over to the window in nothing but my underwear. As I pulled the fabric out of my butt I looked out but I couldn’t make out anything because of the way the sun was hitting the window. I had assumed Trent had left in his truck. I could only think of one place he would have gone.

“Damn.” I said aloud, weakly, with a sigh.

I checked my phone. It was only 9 in the morning. No messages. No missed calls. I knew where he went, but I couldn’t figure out why he had left me here, alone. Actually I could have, but I didn’t want to.

Surely if something had happened someone would have tried to get a hold of me? I thought to myself.

I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. I didn’t know if I was supposed to go to the hospital or just go home. Part of me wanted to stay and wait for him to come back.
At a loss of what to do next I started to get dressed. I got one leg in my pants, but then I noticed the door open with a slow creak.

“Hello-Oh my goodness.” The entering woman said as she saw me more or less fully naked.

I staggered in surprise.

“Ah shit.” I said as I pulled up my pants in a hurry.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in. I thought you were still asleep. Who are you, exactly?” The woman asked.

Finished buttoning my pants I replied. “I’m Damon. What are you doing here? Who are you?” I replied back defensively.

The woman looked older and somewhat familiar. I think I had met her before this encounter, but I didn’t recall where at that time. She was light skinned with blonde hair and steel blue eyes. She was a bigger woman and looked very much like a cow girl. An older woman you might find at a rodeo perhaps. She had a lot of big tacky jewelry on. That seemed to be her desperate attempt to make herself look smaller. I don't think it worked. Especially with that tight, low-cut shirt and those jeans pulled up to her boobs.

Yuk.

“Oh you’re his friend, right. I’m Trent’s Aunt, Anita. I believe we’ve meet once or twice before. It sure is good to see you again, sweet heart. I don’t mean to rush you, but maybe you should go home now, sweetie.”

“Where is Trent? Is Mrs. Kiedis okay?”

“He was gone when we got here." She said.

“What about Mrs. Kiedis? How is she doing?” I asked as I pulled my wrinkled filled shirt over my body. I stood there, in the middle of his room, waiting for her response with my mouth hanging open as if it were pleading for a response in its own silence.

She turned to me as she was about to close the door and moved her eyes from the floor to my face, stopping for just a moment before leaving the room.

I didn’t need the answer…

I left the house without saying another word. Evidently, Trent’s aunt, uncle, and three cousins came in this morning while I was asleep. I suppose I know why now.

I drove home and I began to think about Trent. The pain he must have felt and the hurt he must have had to deal with. I wanted to be there with him. I’d never cared more about a person. I hit my steering wheel repeatedly as tears began to fill my eyes once again.

I didn’t go home. I stopped at the town park and just sat in the swing as I watched the trees blow with the wind. The trees easily submitted to the wind’s will. It didn’t even try and resist.

I find it funny how the World works. You're born and then you spend your whole life affecting everything and everyone around you. No matter how subtle or drastic that affect is, no matter how long or briefly you affect it/them, when you're gone, that is all anyone else can see of you. The affect you had on this World. That is all that remains. Your light affect.

I just didn’t want to go home. I just wanted to be alone with myself.

At that moment, for the first time in my entire life, I didn’t know what to do next...

I sat at the back of the church, by myself. My mom couldn't get off work despite her trying to, but she did manage to make it up here the night beforehand. I thought sitting at the back was the best place for me. I was not a family member or a close friend to her, but I had known her since I was five years old. I definitely loved her. She was an amazing woman. Besides, I was sure Trent would be happy to know I cared enough to come.

I didn’t expect him to sit by me and shoot the breeze the entire time. I thought he would want to be with his family at that moment, but I hoped at least I see him. After a few minutes of me awkwardly sitting alone he came over.

“Hi.” Trent said as he walked by me with his father and older sister, Taylor. He stopped and walked past me in the isle to take a seat beside me. He looked pretty heartbroken. He had been crying. I could see it written on his face. Despite what looked like an apparent attempt to rid himself of the tears.

“You okay?” I asked, not knowing how else to greet him.

“No.” He said plainly with a forced chuckle.

“I’m so sorry Trent. I wish I could have been there. I know how much you loved her and I know how much she loved you. Hell, I loved her.”

He didn’t reply.

“Trent, if you ever need to talk about anything you can always talk to me. I know things are a little confusing between us right now, but I’m always here if you need an ear.”

He remained stone faced for a few moments and then revealed a small smile as he peered over at me.

“Thanks. I better go see my Dad. I just wanted to see you for a minute. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye.”

“Oh and Damon.” He turned and said as he began walking down the middle isle of the church.

“Yeah?”

“She loved you too…”

It was hard for me to sit through the service. I found myself being more upset about her being gone than I had originally thought.

I left rather quickly after the service. I didn’t know many people there and plus I was not a member of the family so I figured I would just let Trent be with them. I left feeling a measure of relief, but I knew things would never be the same for Trent.

After a long week at school I came home and it felt amazing outside. That’s the wonderful thing about Texas. Even in the winter you could always count on a nice warm day to lift up your spirits every once and awhile, especially on Fridays it seemed. The spring-like-breeze made me want to go take a nap in the seemingly bright green grass.

It was almost as if Mother Nature knew I had a hard week and that was my reward. Sunshine and a light breeze.

Not a better prize could have been given.

Nothing relaxed me more than strumming on my guitar near an open window and watching the wind knock back the curtain, it was so peaceful.

I heard my front door slam; it caught me off guard, as it hadn’t made that sound in a long time.

Before I could get up off my couch good I found myself being hit in the gut with a can of soda.

“Here. I thought you might be thirsty”

“Oh, thanks. Whats up?”

“Nothing, really. I didn’t feel like spending another afternoon at home with my Aunt Anita while dad hides at work, so I thought I’d stop over. I guess she feels like she has to be my mom now. I'm just sort of ready for her to go home. A little of her goes a long ways. So, I figured maybe you'd want to hang out.”

“Really?” I gave him a curious, confused look.

“Look Damon, I already see where you’re going with this, I don’t know what is going on, but regardless of how you are, you are my friend. I don't think I have a closer friend than you. Like, everyone else at school? I don't count them as friends. I mean yeah some of the guys are fun to hang out with, but none of those assholes came to the hospital worried about me or my mom. You, you are a real friend and you were there for me. I won’t forget that. Lets maybe just not think about that other stuff right now.”

“Well…I’ve been meaning to talk to you about all of this Trent…”

“What?”

“Well, I was just wondering how you felt.”

“What do you mean how I felt?”

“Well. During the whole chaos of everything when I spent the night at your house—“

“Lets just drop it for now!”

“Trent. Calm down!”

“That was nothing and I shouldn't have done it. Okay, Damon!?”

“Was it? Was it really nothing?”

“It was nothing, Damon. I was lonely…and I needed someone.”

“Is that why you kissed me, Trent?”

He turned away from me and looked out the window, as I asked that. His eyes were fixed. Almost as if he was looking for the answer in the wind moving my curtains.

“Do you really think I need this right now?" He replied desperately as he continued his search...

I don’t think he found whatever he was looking for out there. The anwser to his question was not in the wind. Or at least I could never find it out there...